Frivolity is Fun!

Random thoughts, no heavy lifting allowed!

Costanza-esque? May 28, 2011

These quotes by George Costanza could’ve been uttered by me!  Is he my kindred spirit?

On relationships:

If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.

I would rather date the blind. You know, you could let the house go; you let yourself go. A good looking blind woman doesn’t really know that you’re not good enough for her…

You know the odds of me being anyone’s type? I have never been anyone’s type, but apparently, this Marisa Tomei loves funny, quirky, bald men!

So, I’m afraid that…I, am going to have to break up with…YOU. Yes, I, am breaking up with YOU. Shocked? Never expected this did you!?…Well, live and learn!

On crappy comebacks:

Oh yeah, Reilly? Well, the jerk store called. They are running out of you!

On voicemail:

Got a machine…I’m a dead man. I don’t know what the hell I said! I gave her an ultimatum and there’s nothing I can do. It’s a machine! The little light is blinking right now, “come and listen to the idiot! Hey everybody, the idiot’s on!”

Believe it or not, George isn’t at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I’d pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I’m not home!

On hypochondria:

When I asked him if it was cancer, he didn’t give me a “Get out of here.” That’s what I wanted to hear: “Cancer? Get out of here!” …It should be part of the training at medical school: “Cancer? Get out of here! Go home! What are you crazy? It’s a little test. It’s nothing. You’re a real nut. You know that?”

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Two of my favorite words

Filed under: Everything else on my mind — tiffknox @ 2:03 AM

kerfuffle (ker·fuf·fle/kərˈfəfəl/)

Official Definition: Noun, A commotion or fuss.  (Unofficially, a cluster.)

scuttlebutt

Official Definition(s):

1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain freshwater for a day’s use
    b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 rumor, gossip
 

Missed connections May 13, 2011

Filed under: Social Media,Things I scoff at — tiffknox @ 2:10 AM

Occasionally I like to peruse the craigslist “missed connections” page, because it is HILARIOUS.

A sampling:

do you wanna bring back the tears or just the memory? every time you hang up its like im losing you all over agian. are you really content? Why settle for content when you could have love Love you melissa always have always will loved you now loved you then i wanna love you…..through thick and thin – Wow, he isn’t a poet and he didn’t know it.  Melissa is really missing out.

so this is crazy and doubt this will wrk but i’ve been curious for a long time now you use to come in where i worked and chat with the employees and I, i thought you were very handsome, probably could tell cause i got nervous as heck ha lol… i do believe your a attorney downtown, but if you see this and think its you hit me up telling me something that would let me know its the rite person or attach a pic 🙂 would love to chill with ya go get a drink or something.. – If you’re trying to date an attorney, please learn to spell, punctuate, and stop using emoticons and lols, unless it is someone turning wrecks into checks.  They have no standards.

Pookie hit me back. You know who this is. We talked about getting together many times but nothing ever panned out. Let’s make this happen. G. C’mon Pookie, go ahead and hit him back already.  Fo shizzle.

I don’t remember your name. But it’s been better than 14 years I believe since we met. Our mutual friend Chad introduced us. He was this sort of fat-ass kid obsessed with punk culture, and eventually went totally American Eagle. You lived somewhere sorta off Kanesville I think. But I could be wrong. I remember the house being old, probably late 1800’s easily. You had a nearly unhealthy obsession with Marilyn Monroe. You always smoked your cigarettes with a cigarette holder, and had an OCD-like habit of not inhaling the first drag and blowing the smoke over the cherry as to make sure it was lit. You introduced me to My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. We were almost intimate on a couple of occasions. I remember we had some of the most soul incising deep conversations about life and what we thought was normal and not normal. You did drugs I didn’t even think of trying till many years later, yet we smoked pot on multiple occasions. I believe that is what usually brought us together.  If this sounds at all familiar, or you think you might know who I am talking about please contact me ASAP. If for no other reason than I’d like to reconnect and see where life has brought you.  I think she’s married to fat-ass Chad.

We waved on the free way by papermill. You where driving a blue car with pink tags. tell me what i was driving. Maybe we could meet up for a soda or something. hope to hear from you soon – Who wouldn’t want to have a soda with you, creepy highway waver?

we work togrther,,see,,lets chat,,,,nothing said about our conferse!!! descrete,,,waiting,, I don’t even know what this means … so I’m guessing they don’t work anywhere that involves forming a coherent thought … or typing.

 

(Side)kick it! May 11, 2011

I have noticed that many late 80s/ early 90s sitcoms have a DUMB sidekick accompanying their main character (sometimes a relative, often a neighbor).  I am not talking about idiot savants (foremost example: Kramer), or those who are simply supergeeks (Screech).  I’m talking those that are so dumb they may not be able to function in society.

A lot of shows had them then, but I don’t really see that on TV these days.  Here are the most memorable 5, in my opinion:

1. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (Family Matters): You gotta love Waldo … Urkel might’ve been the star, but poor, clueless Waldo was funnier (and way less annoying).  Did I sayyyy thaaaaaaaat?  Yep, sure did!

2. Jazz (Fresh Prince of BelAir): Memorable Jazz Quote:  [explaining a shrunken shirt] The directions on the shirt said “Hand Wash”. So that’s exactly what I did. Before I put the clothes in the washer, I washed my hands. 

No wonder Uncle Phil was always tossing him out the front door!

3. Cody Lambert (Step by Step): Whoa, dude!  This guy, like, tooootally got on my nerves.  He was cute though!

4. Kimmy Gibbler (Full House): I hated Kimmy.  Not funny!!!  Deej totally should’ve ditched her, but that wouldn’t have been very Tanner-like.

5. Dauber Dybinski and Luther Van Dam (Coach): I loved both of these guys. For some reason, these are the only non-teenagers on the list?  Somehow, despite their stupidity, both of these guys got to move on to another stage in life.  And HOW are there no Luther clips on youtube? 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATE: Thanks to my lovely sister, I have this clip of Luther.  Love him!

 

Shut up, cat.

Filed under: Everything else on my mind — tiffknox @ 2:32 AM
Tags: ,

 

Bring it on down to … Gagaville??

I really thought this was a joke, but the internet wouldn’t lie, especially about Lady Gaga, right?

She’s releasing songs on “FarmVille” before they can be heard anywhere else?  Because nothing says “Gaga” like farming??  Huh?  I always thought she was an odd one …

I think this is INCREDIBLY lame, but probably very smart, considering how much people like this game.  I never saw the appeal of these myself, and refuse to start now, even though I’m gaga for Gaga!

At least I can watch her appearance on American Idol tomorrow, I’ll just need to switch back to the Modern Family “Lady Gaga concert episode,” which I cannot wait for!!  Scuttlebutt is that she wants a guest role in the future!

 

Keep your ice cream in your pants, really.

I find the Magnum ice cream (slogan: for pleasure seekers) commercials disturbingly phallic … and after visiting their website, where Rachel Bilson stars as a ballerina, a model, and an art student  in three short films (in which she “discovers that pleasure is hers for the taking”), also extremely pretentious.  It is ice cream, people.  Really?  This ad campaign has done the impossible – it has made me NOT WANT TO EAT ICE CREAM.  Really, this should be a diet plan for those with sweet teeth like me!